My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize