its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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