i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
there is glitter all over my balls
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