why didn't you poke me back
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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