Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I supernannyed him into submission
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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