This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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