xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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