when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
