This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
