Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I just blew my weed a kiss
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
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