we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Randomize
