Sry I called you an 8
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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