This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
