where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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