just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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