I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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