I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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