was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
