Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Randomize
