last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Randomize
