He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
