I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
