I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
