Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Is Oprah even human
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
