I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize