After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
