mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
