"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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