I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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