i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
