Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Semen is not good for contacts.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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