6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
