dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
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I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
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Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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