His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon