It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
You coming home soon, man?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”