you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch