are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
