tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
