The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
My dick has a subreddit
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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