He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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