Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
