Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
be right there i have to get my cape
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize