We're like a lot better than the average bears
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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