Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
