babies were throwing up all over the place
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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