I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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