What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
