If that was your dad, he is hot
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
