Just mADE A PArabola og urine
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
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