Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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