you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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