i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
