Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
