dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
