hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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