new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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