phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Houston, we have a blender
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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