Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
