it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
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