fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
