Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
